i’m in need of several cuts
ok tumblr friends - i normally do not do this, but question: leave it or cut it off?
Seizure First Aid.
Learn it. Share it. Know it. Use it.
100% correct medical information on tumblr for once; also consider calling 911 if you don’t know how often the person has seizures and ESPECIALLY if the seizure has lasted 5 minutes or more (which is why the watch is critical)
This is so important!
Really good friend of mine from work back home had seizures a few times on the job. This is crucial information.
Oh look! An actually medically accurate seizure first aid post! Thank you, OP.
i’m not epileptic… i only came into seizures beginning last year (and i’m in my 30’s). i think this was important to come across because i was asked by a very dear friend recently what to do if i were to start having a seizure and i only knew like 2 of these facts. this is important, people..!
my mom literally just said to me while we were watching tv:
"Sorry it’s just a known fact that Puerto Rican men have small penises!"
i was like 0_0
until she decided she wasn’t done and said:
"Well Puerto Ricans and Asians."
I was like:
you’re not a dirt bag piece of shit. listen - I actually literally believe - and thus am not just saying this - that asking for help can be MUCH more difficult than… other courses of action. listen. more than being mad at you, I want you to have those funds for food or a place to stay or whatever. and whenever I may be able to help here or there or whenever there’s good timing - ill let you know and you can tell me if you may need it or not. just please… come up with a way to take care of yourself for the short term and as hard as it would be, try asking anyone you may be be close enough to for assistance. if you need me, I hope you get in touch and I’ll let you know if I can help or not. I can’t force you to do anything or even listen to me. it seems rare that a person ever does listen… but even though we only spent like a day together, I still care about you and share a heavy heart with you. just please take care or yourself. don’t just “survive”. yeah I’m about to go thru a big personal thing - it’ll probably start tomorrow. reach out anyway. I’d normally actively seek out how you are but I’m going to be actively defending myself as I go through a few required simultaneous situations. I’m very unhappy. so everything piled up on top of me right now really sucks and makes me loathe being here. and I guess that whenever we talk next will be up to you because you’ll talk to me whenever you decide. to recap you’re not a piece of shit, you should listen to me but would just be with the majority if you don’t, call me if you need help. yup I’m for real. yup it sucks major shit that no one cares. I would like to talk to you soon but just yeah like let me know whenever.
——- the above was saved in my drafts folder 0_0! i have NO IDEA who this goes to or what this is about! holy crap!
so… because i had a seizure and blacked out while i was driving (but i actually cannot remember 2 entire days of events around when it happened) and crashed the car, a $500 deductible has to be paid before the insurance company will cover for any of the damages.
so my mom just saunters out to me and says, “you’re just going to have to ask your dad. so get comfortable with that idea now”.
now, this is the same man that paid somewhere around $1,500 at the beginning of the year to cover repairing all of the things that were wrong with it.
yeah. just call him up and ask him nonchalantly.
i’m going to HAVE to ask him. but i REALLY don’t want to. i already feel like a huge asshole because he paid all that money to fix it, then i crash it (though the circumstances are very strange and there’s a chance i didn’t actually crash the vehicle, but it was crashed my someone else after they drove me around in it while i was unconscious and dropped me off in a neighborhood i had never been in several miles away). no matter if it was me or some other person - which i cannot prove because the seizures wiped my memory of that 48 hour time period - i was still technically responsible for the car’s well being and i feel like an ass having to ask ANYONE.
i hate it i hate it ihateitihateitihateit
he won’t give me a hard time about it because he’s a good and generous man.
but that doesn’t stop me from feeling like a complete and utter failure.
an assholey failure.
how nerdy do my new glasses make me look..?
i don’t know why i always seem to divert myself from writing lately. i’ve wanted to, but just always seem to be like “uhyeahwhybother” then i waste time looking at stuff that is anti-conducive to getting anything productive done.
what-the-fuck-ever you wanna call the process of me getting what you’re currently reading out of my head and onto the screen you’re reading it at right now.
you know what i mean..! stop that! :-P
where some people get excitement and feel passionate about things like playing on a sports team (which i thought was one word - sportsteam - a second ago, thank you good ol’ red squiggly underline. my eduction experience has brought me so far ^_^); having money so they can go on vacations with their family or buy expensive personal items, whatever they may be; acting or musical aptitude - mine comes from doing this.
typing what i’m thinking or at the very least trying to type what i’m thinking as fast as i can and hope my fingers can keep up. not doing so hot at the minute.
i’m out of practice. >:-/
now i’m stuck because i let my mind wander onto my troubles.
don’t worry, we’ll have plenty of time for those later. ^_^
and p.s. i actually prefer my writing to have like an emoticon guide so that i would type whatever symbol in and people would know that was the face i was making at the time.
ok so even now i’ve been distracted again before i can just get this single thought out my fingers through the keyboard and onto the intercom.
after these seizures having actually scared me a few times… having quite a very close call a few days back (we might have time for that later), i want to just say and hopefully then be able to do it..!
of course, i would like it to let me be financially independent, which is kinda hard for these types of things… money isn’t in my mind at all when i think about it.
ok, quick! before i lose it..!
what i want to be able to do… and i genuinely believe i have the potential to do is to be a (published) writer who’s great because you identify with the characters or you feel the genuineness behind the motive of wanting you to feel something with the writing. it appeals to your strings. it’s there for a purpose.
i have two very distinct, may be odd ideas to have simultaneously - to write a story about my extremely… diverse life. but not only like “memeME” but also about my EXTREMELY diverse… family 0_0. and now that he’s not around to tell his story… my brother Justin who died two years ago, back in February. i get to tell the world the story of him that I knew… and it wouldn’t be like anyone else’s. i know justin had his plagues… but he was always a hero to me. and i knew him in a way that no one else did.
it just took me too long to realize it.
i mean, even the tv shows that are diversifying things with mixed families, gay members (like it’s a boy band or something) - they are being contributed to by several different people’s perspectives. with me, i’ve had these experiences myself because my family is absolutely INSANE. and the apple’s still falling from the tree. O.O
so, 1) autobiographish;
and 2) something completely fictional that would fall into the realm of a lite novel or even a comic book or a graphic novel.
i find this one hard to describe and not sound ridiculous. >_<
so… i have these characters i’ve created and i know what their personalities are like. i also want them to have meta human attributes. something that could be thought of as “powers”, but squidged into another interpretation of my own ideas and inspiration from things i watched and read growing up loving fiction, science fiction, meow. i have two ways i want to attack it but haven’t decided 100%, so i’m keeping that info to my daaamn sewf ;-P plus, i don’t want to talk about it yet until i do more work with it. but it’s definitely already somewhat formed.
basically and plainly and hopefully not foolishly want to write and be published because i think there are more people out there than any of us would think that have felt the way i have or gone through what i have… we can sorta commiserate through that channel… and i think maybe if i explained how i got through whatthehellever… if that were to help anyONE - then that’s my biggest intention out of any reason to want to have written and been read.
hopefully, we can laugh together ^_^
ok, baby steps.
this took me way longer than it should have… but baby steps BABY steps. if one more person says that to me i’ma make some baby steps on their sensitive personal areas..! :-P
hope to talk to you soon. (because that will mean, at the very least, i did something i wanted to finish for myself no matter what the financial outcome ^_^)
oh i miss the comedian as genius Bea..!
and if my “life” could be embodied in a human form, i would tell it the same thing. :-D
because the two things that makes things absolutely hilarious about life are when it’s funny, then simultaneously true.
like “Damn you, accursed Life..!” **violently brandishing skeletal hand**
but Life returns and kicks you in the balls and/or vagina with your own foot. and you don’t even remember doing it.
figure that one out.
so i guess what i’m saying is…what i want most of all is out of this current life and make my new focus transcendence. because what i cannot get through, i should go around. take a new path. that’s what i’m trying to find. the one that’s right for me and the world around me.
precious are the moments i remember to keep looking.
ok now back to drinking beer out of the huge football hat with the double-galloned funnell-siphony things.
i do realize that i said funnell-siphony.
well… when i can remember to do it…
here’s to it..!
after i referenced “2 girls 1 cup” to make a joke today and my mom didn’t get it, i had to explain it to her.
she was not amused 0_0
i know it’s father’s day and it should be good will towards men (or is that christmas..?) but just a small few seconds to say this: if you tell someone to ask you for help if you ever need it, then you yell at them and/or make them feel bad about it - you’re an asshole. and someone should punch you in yours. so think twice before offering your “help” to someone if you’re just saying it to make you look like a good person. because you’re NOT.
you’re an asshole.
happy father’s day..!
A part of me dies every time no one gets my joke
i don’t know how i’m not dead years ago
Gambit #10 Vol. 5 by James Asmus, Clay Mann, and Leonard Kirk
hahaha i love rogue.
will ALWAYS reblog >_<
and she’s speechless.