This just in, 34 year old man-boy lives past life nine, confirmed not a cat; Family devastated
i don’t know why i always seem to divert myself from writing lately. i’ve wanted to, but just always seem to be like “uhyeahwhybother” then i waste time looking at stuff that is anti-conducive to getting anything productive done.
what-the-fuck-ever you wanna call the process of me getting what you’re currently reading out of my head and onto the screen you’re reading it at right now.
you know what i mean..! stop that! :-P
where some people get excitement and feel passionate about things like playing on a sports team (which i thought was one word - sportsteam - a second ago, thank you good ol’ red squiggly underline. my eduction experience has brought me so far ^_^); having money so they can go on vacations with their family or buy expensive personal items, whatever they may be; acting or musical aptitude - mine comes from doing this.
typing what i’m thinking or at the very least trying to type what i’m thinking as fast as i can and hope my fingers can keep up. not doing so hot at the minute.
i’m out of practice. >:-/
now i’m stuck because i let my mind wander onto my troubles.
don’t worry, we’ll have plenty of time for those later. ^_^
and p.s. i actually prefer my writing to have like an emoticon guide so that i would type whatever symbol in and people would know that was the face i was making at the time.
ok so even now i’ve been distracted again before i can just get this single thought out my fingers through the keyboard and onto the intercom.
after these seizures having actually scared me a few times… having quite a very close call a few days back (we might have time for that later), i want to just say and hopefully then be able to do it..!
of course, i would like it to let me be financially independent, which is kinda hard for these types of things… money isn’t in my mind at all when i think about it.
ok, quick! before i lose it..!
what i want to be able to do… and i genuinely believe i have the potential to do is to be a (published) writer who’s great because you identify with the characters or you feel the genuineness behind the motive of wanting you to feel something with the writing. it appeals to your strings. it’s there for a purpose.
i have two very distinct, may be odd ideas to have simultaneously - to write a story about my extremely… diverse life. but not only like “memeME” but also about my EXTREMELY diverse… family 0_0. and now that he’s not around to tell his story… my brother Justin who died two years ago, back in February. i get to tell the world the story of him that I knew… and it wouldn’t be like anyone else’s. i know justin had his plagues… but he was always a hero to me. and i knew him in a way that no one else did.
it just took me too long to realize it.
i mean, even the tv shows that are diversifying things with mixed families, gay members (like it’s a boy band or something) - they are being contributed to by several different people’s perspectives. with me, i’ve had these experiences myself because my family is absolutely INSANE. and the apple’s still falling from the tree. O.O
so, 1) autobiographish;
and 2) something completely fictional that would fall into the realm of a lite novel or even a comic book or a graphic novel.
i find this one hard to describe and not sound ridiculous. >_<
so… i have these characters i’ve created and i know what their personalities are like. i also want them to have meta human attributes. something that could be thought of as “powers”, but squidged into another interpretation of my own ideas and inspiration from things i watched and read growing up loving fiction, science fiction, meow. i have two ways i want to attack it but haven’t decided 100%, so i’m keeping that info to my daaamn sewf ;-P plus, i don’t want to talk about it yet until i do more work with it. but it’s definitely already somewhat formed.
basically and plainly and hopefully not foolishly want to write and be published because i think there are more people out there than any of us would think that have felt the way i have or gone through what i have… we can sorta commiserate through that channel… and i think maybe if i explained how i got through whatthehellever… if that were to help anyONE - then that’s my biggest intention out of any reason to want to have written and been read.
hopefully, we can laugh together ^_^
ok, baby steps.
this took me way longer than it should have… but baby steps BABY steps. if one more person says that to me i’ma make some baby steps on their sensitive personal areas..! :-P
hope to talk to you soon. (because that will mean, at the very least, i did something i wanted to finish for myself no matter what the financial outcome ^_^)